TIPS FOR SCHOOL MEETINGS
by Kathleen J. Giordano, TSA Education Specialist
- Be knowledgeable regarding TS and related disorders - don't assume professionals are familiar with related disorders or with typical TS symptoms/difficulties (Review this site's Education and Advocacy pages to help you prepare for meetings.)
- Be prepared - Focus on the current issues that need resolution. Even if you believe the meeting is not important, be prepared as if this meeting will have a major impact on your child's future - it very well might.
- Document Diagnosis - If this is your initial meeting, make sure the school has a paper documenting the diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome. Ensure that paper is signed by the Doctor and not an assistant.
- Do not come with surprises - They do not typically work well. Discussing your ideas and information with key people prior to an IEP or 504 meeting can be helpful in having them support your suggestions.
- Do not overwhelm professionals with information -
Be prepared but be concise when discussing areas of difficulty and symptoms of TS. Practicing ahead of time with brief examples or short stories that drive the point home may be very beneficial.
- Choose your priorities wisely - Don't shortchange your child, but be realistic. In most instances a change of attitude, minimal academic modifications and creative, flexible supports are what is necessary rather than complex and expensive interventions.
- Represent your child as having strengths - Educational plans should include how to use the child's strengths.
- Don't humiliate other participants at the meeting -
Educate people without embarrassing them.
- Provide opportunities to "save face" - This may become important in order for professionals to change their minds in a manner that will be helpful to your child.
- Be an effective communicator which always involves being a good listener - Respectful listening that includes asking questions and soliciting other people's opinions will support them in listening and believing you.
- Bring someone with you - If possible, bring a trained advocate if you anticipate difficulty. Having a non-confrontational friend or relative attend an important meeting with you to take notes and to be an objective and a calming influence can be helpful.
- Be willing to negotiate - Prior to the meeting determine what you are and are not willing to negotiate and to what degree you are willing to negotiate.
- Present yourself professionally - What you wear will demonstrate your respect for the members, the process and the importance of the meeting.
- Be Genuine - Bluffing may work when playing games but advocating is serious. Admitting that you are not an expert on TS is not a weakness or deficit. Offer to get back to them with information of which you are not sure.
- Do not be afraid to show emotion - This is your child who is having difficulties due to TS and any meeting is naturally an emotional time for parents
- Be Assertive but not Aggressive - An assertive parent is seen as being informed, dedicated and committed. Aggression is seen as desperation and makes it appear as if you don't have facts to back up what you are saying.
- Determine, if possible, some alternatives prior to meeting. Do research prior to the meeting. Your ideas may not be the final outcome but having a place to begin is frequently helpful.
- Always make the child the priority - Never should the priority be revenge. There frequently are negative past experiences for a wide variety of reasons. Focus on the child and the current issue!
- Consider the situation from the school's viewpoint -
Recognizing other ideas ahead of time, can assist in being prepared for them when, and if, they arise.
- Ask the teachers what they need - Prior to IEP or 504 meetings, ask what the teacher needs in order to better serve your child. As an employee, the teacher may not be able to make suggestions during the meeting that require additional funding, but you can.
- Recognize that most people, including educators, are not knowledgeable regarding TS - Many parents believe that their school is unusually ignorant regarding TS. Use positive methods of educating them rather than being angry at something that is not their fault.
- Recognize the impact of silent communications - (folded arms, sighing, leaning forward, etc.) Use body language to demonstrate that you are an active and collaborative participant - not angry and uncooperative.
- Don't expect to get everything at one meeting - Congratulate yourself for gains that you make and know that there will be more meetings to make more gains.
- Be prepared to table the discussion to a later date -
If emotions are getting in the way or if more information is required before a decision can be reached, ask that the meeting be tabled. DO NOT walk out. The meeting can legally continue without you.
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Write thank you notes when meetings go well
They will remember it the next time you meet and will help you begin the next meeting with a positive and collaborative atmosphere.
What to Avoid:
- Talking about the past - Unless it directly supports what you are requesting, forget it and concentrate on the current issues
- Bringing lengthy material for people to read during a meeting - most likely they will not be able to read it then. If necessary, send information prior to the meeting knowing that it still may not be read by all members.
- Asking for another IEP/504 meeting unless you have new information to support a request. Rehashing the same information will most likely result in the same decision and will only waste valuable time and anger members who will be involved in future meetings.
- Being confrontational - Parents are already far too often blamed as being the reason a child has difficult behaviors. Don't give them more ammunition.
- Being overly confident - You may be blind-sided. Be prepared for every meeting
- Making threats - Don't threaten to take the school to due process hearing unless you intend to follow through.
For additional general special education resources visit the IDEA Practices Website: www.ideapractices.org and www.fape.org
Return to the TSA Home Page
©2007,2008 Tourette Syndrome Association, Inc. 42-40 Bell Boulevard / Bayside NY 11361 / 718-224-2999